Silly Fear

I am in awe at how much fear can hold us back.  We know this of course, and are continuously exposed to cute and encouraging posters, quotes, and other media driven reminders that we need to face our fears.  Somehow, even with all this apparent support, we can find ourselves stuck in the very behavior we just posted a sarcastic encouragement of avoiding.  

Help me out here if I’m mistaken, but it can happen to anyone.  Even the most loved of celebrities have “crash” moments (or years) of not being able to see enough strength in themselves to overcome something.  Clearly the cause of being frozen in fear doesn’t have to be the same for everyone, but I think the universal setback experienced is that we are with held from doing something we are perfectly capable (and maybe even overqualified) to do by literally being our own road block.  

So let’s knock it off! Easier said than done that’s for sure; but I resolve to find something every day for the next week here that I am the only thing stopping myself from doing.  The examples leading me to this range from recalling moments years ago in parenting where eye contact and communication were far more effective than allowing frustration to interfere with communication- to just today when trying to draft a legal document I had myself so worried about the phrases and how to word them that I totally forgot how easily it comes to me once I get the basic facts typed out.  Both are simple examples of things I already knew.

What got in the way? Silly Fear.  That’s all.  Fear that I wouldn’t get out the door on time if my child was in charge (there’s a newsflash) and fear that I would’t be able to complete a legal document. When I break it down and look at that sentence it seems so simple it’s silly.  

So maybe once in a while we need more than a cute poster, or quick witted sarcasm to remind us to overcome our fears, and maybe sometimes our fears are less obvious, more debilitating, and more our own fault than we’d like to admit. 

On that note; here I go.  Legal document typed.  Roadblock placed by my own silliness safely removed.  

I am ready to move on.



Why Resolve It?

Sounds like a funny question, but we want the answer.  Sometimes (okay lots of times) what people are really seeking is validation of their perception.  When the focus of our energy is to accomplish having our perception validated;  we tend to find someone trying to resolve the actual problem to be quite a nuisance.

People in general need an individual amount of proof that they are legit in their discrepancy before they are ready to settle the discrepancy.  And that’s okay.  I can offer that, and it can be healthy for all parties involved.

Limiting negative ripple effect is the real challenge.

Agencies designed to handle the conflicts we find ourselves in can sometimes start to appear as though they advocate the conflict instead of helping resolve it.  That of course is not the intention, but that’s the result.  As I stated in previous blogs; some decisions do require judicial assistance to find equitable balance.  The majority of our disputes however, Do Not.

So it comes down to you.  Do you want to make sure everyone knows how you were done wrong? That is certainly available.  You can even drag it out for as long as you want, and you will never run out of professionals who accept payment in exchange for explaining to an audience just exactly what your rights are.  Continued conflict is available for purchase until you’re ready to move on.

When you are ready to move on, I’ll be here.

Why Belinda J?

For over a dozen years I helped people’s lives become cases in files at the Courthouse.  I’ve been a supporter, a boy cotter, an advocate, and an op-poser to the judicial system that we all turn to when we need something in our life officiated, licensed, enforced; protected, denied, or dissolved.  That system is necessary, helpful, and overwhelmed.

We need a Judge or Commissioner to help us be fair about intricate retirement plans, complex insurance settlements, or which Forensic Therapist was the most thorough.  We do not need someone to decide for us where the kids should spend Christmas; If eviction commences the 1st or 15th; And whether the ping-pong table was broken when we rented it.

I could go on about the educational certificates on the wall behind my desk; and why you should be impressed by them. I’ve been a Registered/Certified Paralegal, Certified Notary Public, Certified Mediator (several Certifications over), Transcriptionist, Contract Creator, Expert Witness, Digital/Video Authenticator, Coach, Speaker, Teacher, Leader, Outcast, and Mentor.


What I am mostly is one of You- With experience in the areas that frustrate us most; and the ability to put in our words the actions that will bring to us the resolve that we really need.


Belinda J.

Your Mediator.

Your Solution.

Your Way.


We all have things in our life that need to be resolved.  Some we have full knowledge of and choose them as part of a life plan.  Examples of this are a car payment, mortgage payment, credit cards, and so on.  These unresolved areas are chosen, in fact, we have to work just to get them.  We can grasp the idea that resolve of the mortgage/car payment/credit card debt is not available for a few months, a few years, or a few decades and we are not overwhelmed by it. 

Other areas are not so simple; especially if they are not chosen intentionally, or involve our emotions.  Those areas are the ones that get us feeling overwhelmed.  They include a dispute with our boss, a disagreement with our landlord, a parenting decision we can’t seem to agree on, or a decision to go our separate ways when the “how to separate” part is what we can’t agree on. Every single one of us has experienced at least one, if not all, of these examples.

Taking the step of asking for help is often our best chance at reaching Resolve.

The question becomes; when should you ask for help? (And of course; who do you ask?…Ask Me!) I’ve worked closely, and in a variety of scenarios, with a wonderful woman by the name of Carol Thomas.  She helped me find the answer to when we should ask for help.  The answer- When ever you feel overwhelmed. This will be most common if we have emotions involved in what’s going on, which of course, includes just feeling anger. That’s when we are best serving ourselves, and anyone else involved, by going to a neutral person with the situation.


Taking the step of asking for help is often our best chance at reaching Resolve.