You are Ready to Move On!

We all know that my job is never boring.  One piece I’m finding particularly interesting today is the number of people who are still legally married but have been separated in real life for a while, often a long while.  I’d say a decent percentage of my calls are from clients who just need to get their divorce finalized (and what they really mean is get the divorce started!)

I see how it happens, and I’m glad that there’s such a large number of people who have no interest in seeking the Fight as the Answer.  Whether you were married for one year or 15, it seems it is not uncommon to disentangle actual “real” life, and forego dealing with the paperwork.  The obvious reality of it is that it took paperwork to get married, and it takes paperwork to get UN-married (or as I like to say- “get single”).

When 2 people have been separated for years, it seems the most common time they seek the dissolution of their marriage is when they want to get married again, or add a new family member to their new(est) relationship.  Well that makes sense.  You don’t want to keep the old spouse when you get a new one.

These situations are really among the more pleasant of sessions held.  The clients usually have been living out some kind of existing schedule regarding finances, children, and whatever else was combined during the marriage.  I can often help them iron out any discomforts they had been simply enduring for the sake of not having to talk to one another.  Every client, every family, and every situation has their own set of standards that they live comfortably with, as well as some they don’t want to live with anymore.  No two stories are the same.  I am asked so many times, “What’s normal?”.  I have to reply with literally the same question.  I can offer parallels, similarities, generalities, but no “normal”.  The longer I’m a Mediator, the more firmly I believe that if you can think of it, people are doing it.

As I stated, I’m happy to be here for the people who are Ready to Move On.  And I am so very well aware of how life gets busy, life gets complicated, life gets fun, or life gets scary, and any one of those is a valid reason the details get put on hold.

I was just wanting to share a few thoughts on how we all live so differently, yet find some of the most interesting variables in common.  I also wanted to encourage any one that is hesitant to make an appointment because it has been so long, or maybe you’ve even made appointments with me, or another lawyer or Mediator; only to cancel, reschedule, or simply decide not to go.  While I am in no way a fan of no-shows- I do understand.  I also am not here to judge what ever has gone on in your life that led you to where you are now.  I’m here to help you get to where you want to be.

So don’t be shy.  Get on with your life!  I sure hope today’s note finds you enjoying your day.

And remember- The Rest of Your Life Begins Here.

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Click Here to see Why Belinda J?

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Text Message Transcription

Text Message Transcription

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TrueNorthEmpire.com
(509) 795-6888

Love

Love is Patient.

Love is Kind.

Love does not Envy.

Love does not Boast.

Love is not Arrogant.

Love is not Rude.

Love is not Selfish.

Love is not Irritable.

Love keeps no record of Wrongs.

Love does not delight in Evil.

Love rejoices in the Truth.

Love always Protects.

Love always Trusts.

Love always Hopes.

Love always Perseveres.

All of this is why

LOVE NEVER FAILS

It is the impurities so inevitably added to our love that are the rightful place of blame for what we call Love’s Failure.

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Your Perception or My Reality?

We all know that our perception is our reality.  We also know that the same perception isn’t shared by everyone.  When it comes to a shared experience, we can easily, and emphatically, feel that a person who describes the experience differently than we do to be Lying.  It often becomes a block of sorts in our mind once we determine someone to have lied about us or something we were involved in.  We experience anger regarding it.

When two (or more) persons perceptions are to be taken into consideration for purposes of decision making, we increase the risks of disagreement on the decision to be made.  And as I said, once one person feels there to be dishonesty, things can unravel quickly.

My job as Your Mediator is to facilitate communication between you.  Chances are, you have already communicated what you don’t agree on.  So my job is really to facilitate communication of what you do agree on.  Sometimes that is much like finding a needle in a haystack (or as one colleague called it- pulling a rabbit out of a hat).  The good news is that its in there somewhere.

It is not my job to tell you every word that was said when I speak privately with each party.  It is not my job to point out discrepancies you hadn’t stumbled upon yet.  I’m not here to even the score for the wrongs imposed on you by the other person.  I’m here to help you Move On.  It is my job to listen, and listen well.  When you’re the person in the dispute every thing usually sounds offensive.  Because you know intimate details about the other person, you know what their motive is and you don’t want them to get away with anything.  I don’t usually have to ask, “what do you think they’re really saying?” its usually offered immediately by the person who’s worried I missed something.  And its important.  I want you to tell me the details of why they’re saying what they’re saying.  I need all the info you can give me because I don’t know either of you at all.  I don’t have the answers- You Do.  They’re just scattered, shattered, and all but forgotten.

My office is the place to think out loud.  Let the accusations, complaints, and oh so bias perceptions fly like the wind.  These are the exact ingredients which comprise your Reality.  You come to see me because you want that reality to look different tomorrow than it does today- but we can only work with what you bring to the table.

So let it out.  Tell me the whole story.  Because within that story is the keys necessary to unlock the next chapter for you. I don’t have any of the pieces to your puzzle, but I can help you turn them to make them fit.

When you’re Ready to Move On, I’ll be here.

Sometimes all you need is Someone to Turn the Puzzle Piece.

Sometimes all you need is Someone to Turn the Puzzle Piece.

Call Today.  The rest of your life begins Here. (509) 795-6888 Or email me with questions BelindaJ.empire@gmail.com TrueNorthEmpire.com has links to my other social media sights as well as a direct link to email me.

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